I’ve decided to take a break from my weekly shin-kicking and political potshots to talk a little bit more about a theme personal to us as college students: self-care. Self-care is a term thrown around a lot that colloquially means doing anything for yourself that fulfills your physical, mental, emotional or even spiritual needs, as well as ensures a more holistic wellbeing. It could be taking a bath, reading a book, eating three meals a day or even just picking up and folding your laundry.

However, I’d like to propose another form of self-care, that of a social sense. We, in essence, surround ourselves with a ton of people on the daily. Classmates, acquaintances, colleagues, authority figures, family members and a whole host of other categorical individuals. But, who we choose to be our friends says a lot about our relationship to ourselves and the world around us.

Now, I won’t lie, when I was a younger woman, I had many friends that one therapist  described as “bad people, like on the inside even.” And this shocked me as someone who used to describe their own taste in friends as discerning. I think we both tend to attribute more positive labels, as well as overlook potentially serious transgressions due to a wish to be socially connected like our peers. 

Think of how many male friend groups struggle to isolate members who mistreat women, or how a lot of high school friend groups will condone the bullying of one or more members. It can be difficult for a lot of people to let go of preexisted connections that turn out to be detrimental.
A lot of us have been fed this narrative since birth that having more friends equals being a happier person. The fear of loneliness, of wearing the badge of a social outcast, has taught us to never stop, however there’s some nuance to this. 

Having a lot of friends can potentially be a good thing, yes. Not because of the quantity of the individuals present, but instead because learning to get along with a wide variety of people can indeed be helpful towards broadening our horizons. The bounds of our world start and end with us, and expanding them often means being open to new perspectives we might not have considered.

Side-note, I am not telling you to befriend NFT shills, pick-up artist podcasters, those who stockpile resources for conspiracy-laden apocalypses, anyone who unironically wears puka-shell necklaces, vloggers, or those who would agree with or otherwise support Kanye’s recent statements (knowing when this article comes out this last one could have even more context to it soon) — such groups as described can be avoided at all costs.