There it is again. The time has come when some of our Piper peers move on to better and brighter things. Of course, they shed their proud Piper title in the process, as they find a new university to call home. I’m talking to you. All of you who are feeling unhappy, lonely or like you just don’t fit in. You’re thinking about transferring or withdrawing. While there might be other reasons than these causing you to be less than attracted to Hamline, in some cases it might get better.

It might not be the school. It could be you.

Now, this isn’t meant to place blame on someone, although that gives many comfort. I believe that most of my own unhappiness in Hamline was caused by me and me alone. For any first-years out there, there might be value in trying to end out the academic year at Hamline, granted you have the resources to do so.

As I neared the first semester mark of my first year, I was at one of my lowest points. My roommate was out nearly every weekend and my good friend on my floor went home a lot. Being the introverted, anxious girl that I was, I spent most weekends locked up in my room eating C-store snacks while crying about how lonely I was. Dramatic, I know, but it’s the honest-to-God truth.

One particular moment I remember was how badly I wanted to attend the semi-annual Late Night Study Breakfast. I didn’t have anyone to go with me, so I sulked through Anderson, through the crowds of friends in line for breakfast and went to Leo’s Corner to find something for dinner. I returned to my empty Sorin dorm room, disappointed in myself that I couldn’t bring myself to attend it alone and that I didn’t have more friends. I microwaved my meal and was frustrated at myself. In most of my first-year classes, I hadn’t really bonded with anyone. Even outside of classes, I stuck to a familiar group of about three people.

During the month of January, I had a full-on breakdown about how much I hated Hamline. I cried and cried about how damn lonely I was. I begged my parents to let me transfer and told all of my hometown friends about my extreme unhappiness. This is where I start blaming myself for my own unhappiness. I realize now, the fact that I hadn’t met very many people had nothing to do with Hamline. It had everything to do with me.

I chose to spend every weekend in my dorm room, with the door shut. I hardly ever used our floor lounge. I would study in Anderson sometimes, but never asked if anyone from my class wanted to accompany me. I never joined any clubs or organizations. I was so scared of being rejected by a potential friend, I let it shut me down.

If you’re a first-year and feeling anything similar, don’t give up just yet. If you can afford Hamline, it truly is an amazing institution. So far already this year, I’ve met new friends and have hardly felt lonely. I’ve actually laughed like I do with my best friends when I return to my hometown. I can honestly say now that I love being at Hamline.

Get out and explore your new city! Get up the courage to ask an acquaintance you’ve made from class or a club you’re in to go study in Anderson or at a nearby coffee shop like Groundswell or Ginkgo. Don’t rely on your cell phone for all your communication and actually speak some sentences to another human.

I know without a doubt this can all be easier said than done. Social anxiety disorder, depression and feelings of loneliness are all real issues many of us struggle with. The Social Anxiety Institute, in an article by Thomas A. Richards, Ph.D, explains that it is estimated that 7% of the population in the United States suffers from some type of social anxiety. Mix that with a bunch of stressed-out college students who are trying to work, play and study all at the same time, and it doesn’t make for a healthy combination.

College is without a doubt what you make of it. Nobody is going to help you have a better time if you don’t let them help you. Confide in someone, whether that’s a roommate, a stranger or a trained professional. Social anxiety or any type of anxiety is something that can’t be quickly overcome. It’s going to take hard work and a want to change. Give Hamline a little bit more of a chance and you might find you truly fit in after all.