Being honest with someone can be hard. Being honest about your mental health? That’s a whole different ball game. I haven’t been one to shy away from speaking openly about feeling depressed or anxious. During my first year, I thought for sure I was the only one feeling this way. Everyone seemed to be making friends left and right, fully embracing the college experience.

However, according to the Worldwide Health Organization (WHO), more than 300 million people across the world suffer from depression. I’ve written before about  how  depressed I was my first year of college, just in the hopes someone else would read my words, knowing it could get better or at the very least that they weren’t alone in their experience. I share these honest moments with you all not because I want sympathy, but so that others suffering can simply know they are not alone. In my mind, honesty is one of the most important qualities a person can have.

I distinctly remember an honest moment in high school with a large group chat of some close and not-so-close friends. For whatever reason, we all had started disclosing our own personal struggles to each other. None of us really knew we were all so affected by mental health issues. We had no idea the size of the stones we were all carrying on our backs, weighing us down each day. I learned we were a group with a history of anorexic tendencies and suicide attempts. We were depressed and anxious and unsure if we could live up to the standards we set for ourselves. As if high school wasn’t hard enough, right?

I realized in this moment, being depressed and anxious with anorexic tendencies myself, that the thoughts I was having weren’t just my own. Although I had been keeping this to myself, unsure if anyone else would be able to relate to me, I wasn’t alone. We all had something pulling us apart that we were hiding from each other, echoing each other’s struggles. Just talking about it didn’t exactly solve any of these serious issues, but we were able to at least learn we weren’t alone. I think recognizing and admitting a problem is one of the first steps in learning to heal and recover.

Even the most mentally strong and healthy individuals can suffer from time to time. Responsibilities or stressors can pile up, resulting in a mini-breakdown or just some high stress. The National Institute of Mental Health notes that continued stress can have much more serious effects on your health than just losing a night of sleep or being a little on-edge. They say, “Over time, continued strain on your body from routine stress may contribute to serious health problems, such as heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and other illnesses, as well as mental disorders like depression or anxiety.” College can be  stressful. While small amounts of stress can be beneficial for motivation, repeated stress is a problem.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that you tell at least someone about feelings of stress, anxiety, depression or suicidal thoughts. A friend would care if you are feeling any less than your best. Sometimes when I am feeling terribly down or incredibly anxious, I send a text to a friend or two just explaining how I’m feeling. I don’t necessarily need them to do anything about it or talk to me, but I think just letting them know what’s going on can be helpful. If you don’t usually like to talk to someone when you are going through mental health woes, this is an excellent way to just explain that you’re not feeling 100 percent yourself. That way they can sort of watch out for you and ask if you need anything. They can simply be aware and present.

To return to the example I used earlier, if you share your anxiety with a friend you may be surprised to learn they also feel anxious from time to time. We can all help to build each other up, rather than stay in the dark about our mental health. All parties involved can be better off, learning their silent suffering doesn’t have to be so silent anymore.