Now this is truly Kafkaesque

Robin Doyscher, Senior Columnist

Let me tell you a story. Imagine, if you will, you were going to attend commencement. You’re mostly tired of college but you’re excited about graduating with your friends and walking to get your degree. You’ve been emailing quite a few places on campus about where to get tickets but you aren’t entirely sure why nobody has responded to you.

Then, you check online and see an account called “hucommencement” and think that maybe this is your shot to buying tickets. You realize they’re only letting you request seat changes. Weird.

So, you ask around and then check your email to find out that not only was there a site you needed to reserve tickets for, but you needed a password for it. What’s more, you were never sent either of these bits of information from Hamline to your email.

I’m gonna cut to the chase — the way Hamline distributes and updates information is truly wack. I cannot fathom how anyone in

this university knows anything when the reigning method of communication are emails. Vital information either doesn’t always get sent to everyone, gets buried under a cacophony of similar emails or is hidden behind various instagram accounts made for specific school events, each having around 20 followers.

To me, getting involved at Hamline is convoluted. No, you can’t just buy tickets via Hamline’s website — that’d make too much sense. You have to be sent a password for a site after you email a specific address once the sundial in the Blue Garden has finally lined up with the apex of the wind’s trajectory on a Thursday after the third blue moon of the year.

It is truly ridiculous. We pay so much money to this school and the best we’re given for how to stay involved is usually flyers, emails with typos and inaccuracies or phone calls to offices staffed by overworked and underpaid employees who are just as lost as we are.

To me, Hamline has made its entire climate inaccessible. Why do we always have to jump through hoops to get access to the simplest of accommodations? The only way to truly achieve things here (and this is a subtle nod to our capitalistic hellscape), is to beg and hope that your groveling attracts the whims of the fates who take pity on you and allow you to buy commencement tickets.

Am I bitter? Yes. I have had several issues not getting vital info from Hamline before, and mostly I’m just confused. Why is Hamline University’s website never updated? Why is information about current classes, major requirements and scholarships almost never accurate?

I swear most colleges aren’t like this, folks. This is what happens when you don’t invest in the people and technologies you need, and expect students to keep each other informed.

This isn’t how a university should run, and I know that a big reason students may feel invisible at Hamline is because they don’t feel seen enough, and have little to no direction towards getting involved or having what they need. It’s truly disappointing and aggravating. It should not be like this and if it continues to remain unchanged, who knows what’ll happen to campus life?