Send in the clowns

Staff

Fall is a wonderful time of year. The leaves of maple trees don their orange autumn robes, pumpkin patches and apple orchards appeal to friends and lovers alike. Best of all, Halloween waits just around the corner.

Now, when Halloween is mentioned, we’re often inclined to think about little bags of candy corn, the flickering smiles of jack-o-lanterns and children in bedsheets with poorly-cut eyeholes. This year, there’s something a little more sinister to think about.

A fifteen-year-old girl from Bloomington, Minnesota is being charged after assuming the alias “Kroacky Klown” and making murderous threats on Facebook last week. That’s pretty creepy. But it doesn’t end there.

There have been dozens of cases of these “evil clowns” around the U.S. Some of them simply walking around, some of them going as far as armed robbery and assault.

The range of these attacks is impressive. A number of clowns have been allegedly armed with knives, machetes, handguns and more. As a result of these threats and sightings, Florida schools have been put into lockdown and a number of students at Merrimack College in North Andover, Massachusetts were evacuated.

In Colorado Springs, Colorado last week, a man was hiking when he came across a clown on the trail. He asked the clown his name and when the clown refused to answer, the man punched the clown in the face. The clown proceeded to bash the man on the head with a bottle of whiskey. Really. You can’t make this stuff up.

Some folks believe this widespread clown craze is a vast promotional stunt being orchestrated in advance of the premiere of “It,” the reboot of a classic horror movie based on the Stephen King book of the same name.

Others believe it might have something to do with the evil clown themes in Rob Zombie’s upcoming film, “31.”

Nationally acclaimed folklorist Benjamin Radford simply believes that the craze is a snowball effect, where rumor and concern fuel widespread copycats.

Students at St. Bonaventure University in New York took matters into their own hands and created an “Anti-Clown Army,” whose members were later seen walking around the campus with baseball bats.

While no one has been seen clowning around Hamline’s campus yet, the number of sightings across the country is on the rise. So, no matter your plans for this Halloween season, here are a few things to keep in mind:

-Trick-or-treat in groups. There’s safety in numbers.

-Keep cell phones charged so the proper authorities can be contacted in a potential emergency situation.

-Don’t take balloon animals from strangers.

-Flee at the sound of approaching massive shoes.